Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?

Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?

On the first night after getting married, can one use contraception ( e.g condom ) or should this not be allowed. This is because it may be possible (by the will of Allah) for my future wife to get pregnant, but we may not choose to have children so early in our marriage.Please advise.

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

It is permissible to engage in coitus interruptus if a person
does not want a child, and it is also permissible to use a condom, but that
is subject to the condition that the wife gives her permission for that,
because she has the right to full enjoyment and also to have a child. The
evidence for that is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) who said: We used to engage in coitus interruptus at the
time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him). News of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid us to do that. Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 250; Muslim, 160 

Although that is permitted, it is nevertheless makrooh and
intensely disliked. Muslim (1442) narrated that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about coitus interruptus and he
said: “That is the secret burying alive of infants.” This indicates that it
is strongly disliked. 

Al-Nawawi said: 

Coitus interruptus means intercourse in which, when
ejaculation approaches, the man withdraws and ejaculates outside the vagina.
It is makrooh in our view in all circumstances and with all women, whether
the woman consents to that or not, because it is a means of preventing
offspring. Hence in the hadeeth it is called “the secret burying alive of
children,” because it cuts off the means of producing offspring, like
killing a newborn by burying him or her alive. With regard to it being
haraam, our companions said that it was not forbidden… 

These ahaadeeth and others, when taken in conjunction, may be
understood as meaning that it is makrooh, but not strongly so, and the
reports in which permission is given for that may be understood as meaning
that it is not haraam; they do not mean that it is not makrooh. 

It is better for the Muslim not to do that, unless there is a
need for it, such as if the woman is sick and cannot cope with a pregnancy
or it would be too difficult for her or would cause her harm. Also, coitus
interruptus cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to have a
lot of children, and it also means that the woman’s pleasure is incomplete. 

See also question no.
3767 .