I am in alot of trouble. I can not ask local Iman because he is not good in his knowledge and i am embarassed to ask friends or family. You see, the problem is I got married recently and I think i might of committed zina with my wife. This is how, we were driving my sisters car and me and wife stopped the car in a quiet place and we kissed alot, quite alot. a man walked passed and he saw us, but we did not stop. i feel i have committed open zina. do we need to pay kafarah, or confess to our elders. my second very very important question is after kissing, i let out (we were both wearing clothes all the time mufti saab) sperm in my underwear. Now i feel very bad because this is my sisters car and she has been driving it after me. i can not wash the car seat as she will get suspicious and confront me. i do not want to lie, now she sits in the car sits on the floor to eat dinner, sits on the sofa, her and her children and i feel very very bad as to what to do. is the car and sofa and place were we sit not clean anymore, and my wife and i are arguing she blames me for worrying. i think she is a bad muslim, because she does not fear Allah, becuase she made me stop the car and kiss, i hate her for that. dear sir, i await your reply as i am disturbed by what has happened, i like to keep paak and clean at all times to please Allah.
Praise be to Allaah.
Please note that you will never be able to live your life
without sins and mistakes. This is the nature of man. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam commits
sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.” Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, 2499; Ibn Maajah, 4251; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. This hadeeth clearly indicates that man will
inevitably commit sin, but what matters after that is what he does about his
sin. The believer repents to Allaah from all his sins, gives them up and
asks Allaah for forgiveness every time he commits a sin, and he regrets
doing it and resolves sincerely not to do it again. If you do that, then
understand that Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful; He forgives all sins
for the righteous believer who repents sincerely and admits his sin humbly
before Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My
slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds
and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all
sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
The sin that you have admitted to is not zina with your wife!
Rather it is kissing her in front of other people, because there is no zina
with one's wife, rather zina is done with a woman whom it is not permissible
for a man to touch. But in the case of a wife, it is permissible to touch
It is not permissible for a man or a woman to speak to anyone
else of what happens between them in bed which no one else should see but
them, because of the evils and temptations that result from that and because
it opens the door to the shaytaan. This has to do with one who speaks about
what he did with his wife, so how about one who does things in front of
people where they can see him!
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said in his Fataawa (10/277) that kissing one’s wife in front of
people is not permissible.
As for the expiation for this sin, there is no expiation
except sincere repentance and firm resolve not to do it again, and true
regret for having committed this sin.
As for confessing to your parents, there is no need for that.
The sin that you have admitted to is a sin against Allaah, so confession
should be made to Allaah. It is between you and Allaah and you should not
tell anyone about it, but be sincere in your repentance to Allaah and Allaah
will forgive you. Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
The fact that your wife is the one who told you to do this
deed does not mean that she is not a righteous woman or that she does not
fear Allaah. You also agreed with her to do it, and you did not stop even
when that man saw you. So you should also shoulder your share of
responsibility for what you did.
See also questions no.
May Allaah help you to do that which He loves and which
And Allaah knows best.