Tuesday, 11 October 2011

She vowed to marry off her daughter for a large dowry and now she wants to reduce it


My mother vowed that if she gave birth to a daughter, she would do a seven-day wedding for her and the mahr would be 7000 Omani riyals. Now the problem of high dowries is widespread and that has led to a lot of women remaining unmarried. What is the ruling if we do not fulfil this vow and we make it easy for the girl to get married?.

Praise be to Allaah.


Making it
easy to get married, and not going to extremes in the mahr and in the
wedding expenses, are praiseworthy things, and they are good and bring
blessing to the couple. This is merciful towards the husband and spares him
from becoming burdened with debt, and it is merciful towards all young men
and saves them from temptation and makes it easy for them to remain chaste.
So reducing the amount of mahr is a good deed and we hope that you will be
blessed for doing that, by Allaah’s leave. 

Shaykh Ibn
Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Going to extremes in women’s
dowries is makrooh. It is Sunnah to ask for little and to be easy-going with
regard to that. End quote from Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (21/87). 

Shaykh Ibn
‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: What is your opinion
about going to extremes with dowries and extravagance in wedding parties and
especially in preparing for the so-called honeymoon? Does Islam approve of

He replied:
Extravagance with regard to dowries and parties is contrary to sharee’ah.
The most blessed wedding is the one that costs the least. The less the
expense, the greater the blessing. The same applies to extravagance in
parties which is forbidden in Islam and is included in the verse in which
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not Al‑Musrifoon (those who
waste by extravagance)”

[al-An’aam 6:141] 

Such things
should be done in the manner prescribed in sharee’ah, and no one should
transgress the limits or be extravagant, because Allaah forbids extravagance
and says: “Verily, He likes not
Al‑Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance)”. 

What may be
said about the honeymoon is that it is worse and more hateful, because it is
an imitation of non-Muslims, and it wastes a lot of money. It also leads to
neglect of many religious duties, especially if this time is spent in a
non-Muslim country, because they come back with habits and customs that harm
them and their society. These are things which we fear will adversely affect
the ummah. But if a man travels with his wife for ‘umrah or to visit
Madeenah, there is nothing wrong with that, in sha Allaah. 

End quote
from Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/175). 

See also
questions no. 10525
and 12572. 


In the event
that the vow is not fulfilled – which is better for you, as explained above
– then your mother must offer expiation for breaking an oath (kafaarat
yameen) because a permissible oath does not have to be fulfilled, rather one
has the choice between fulfilling it or offering expiation (kafaarat
yameen), by freeing a slave, feeding ten poor people with the average kind
of food that you eat, or clothing them. If none of that is possible then she
should fast for three days. 

Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: A permissible vow includes such things
as wearing a certain garment or riding an animal… in this case the one who
made the vow has the choice of doing it and thus fulfilling the vow or if he
wishes he may forgo that and offer expiation (kafaarat yameen). End quote
from al-Mughni (10/70). 

May Allaah
help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah
knows best.

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